Relics
I went on my old, decrepit myspace account today. I had to sit and think as to what my password was. Once in, I didn’t even recognize the homepage format anymore.
I only keep it around for these gems. Its where I ranted and wrote from late high school and the first couple years of college. Its from a self I now barely know or relate to anymore, but she wrote a ton more than I do. A lot more of it artistically as well. I dug this out from the ashes of a place I don’t care to ever return to, but have to still remember.
A student actually found this and messaged me about using it in their English class paper. As an almost anti-English person it was really bizarre, but they sent a second message partially crediting me with their ‘A’. Oh the irony…
I tried to keep the syntax relatively intact. If you want to go treasure hunting into my past internet life here’s the link:
http://www.myspace.com/percussionbell
Enjoy.
I’m not tired
. so quit asking
I’ll always tell you nothing is wrong .
because nothing is
. I’m still not tired
I could run forever
But I’ll lie and say I am
so you won’t ask anymore
This isn’t who I really am.
I’m really a lot nicer
…and happier and thinner and funnier
–but I’m not here right now–
Nothing is going wrong.
I have no reason for you
…except I’m not okay.
There’s nothing I can tell you.
So don’t ask.
just come up to me and give me a hug.
(without saying a thing)
tell me you love me and that is enough
To save me from myself…
for another day.
That’s a side of you I never expected to see. Even from a past you.
Not every quirk and understanding was cheerfully forged on this one.