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Series of Questions

October 14, 2010
Why is negative so much easier to default to than positive, if no one wants the negative? Who honestly is going to be offended at a friendly offer? Why do we shut doors on our “friends” ? Theoretically and literally? Why do we always take the loyalist amongst us for granted? And spend more time with those less steadfast, but newer? Why do the loyalist always let the rest tramp them into the ground? Why do we ignore those around us, afraid to ask,  silently suffer? Why is it those who aren’t in that inner circle the only ones who ever notice? Who wants to be alone like that? Or if they knew any better, would they continue to let those around them live like that? Because its easier? It it really such a surprise, who it is among us that decides to leave “before their time”? Don’t their reasons make sense? Or if there is no “known” reason, doesn’t that prove a reason enough? Who is a person without others to compare and associate to? Who is a person if theres no one else to view and define them? Why is it so hard to believe that people are actually capable of love? That it isn’t just a series of motions defined over an existence  that we fool ourselves into feeling some undefined way, what if that’s all it is? Why is it when those motions are miss your slowly excluded? That that slow settling belief  becomes a reality that’s near impossible to change course, mostly because others allow you to go there, that insanely wrong belief that keeping a distance, a departure from another is allowing them to be themselves, when being yourself means nothing with no one to witness? Why do people follow this? Who among us is this mythical thing called a friend? Why has no one proved this to be true? Is it in human nature to react to an initial cry, then revert to each one exclusive life before their “comrade” is healed? Don’t those shallow moments of reactions just fool people into believing they helped, when in reality they’re simply reinforcing the problem? We can’t allow anyone to pass, but we cannot allow anyone to live? Why is the world so unobservant and unintentionally selfish? the ignorance of the obvious? Is ignorance really bliss? Honesty is the greatest pain? For all one’s ‘successes’, why is it incredibly lonely? Why are so few capable of stepping outside of themselves for more than a micro-moment?
Why do these questions feel like statements to me? Why should they be my truths?
What is the liklihood anyone is going to reply to this? Read this? Care? Care for more than 20s seconds? Care tomorrow? Next week? In a month? Is it always easier to care when you’re not the one right there? Is it easier from miles away? Why am I the only one who can do anything? Why are other people laughing in the other room while I cry writing this? Why do I think I can’t post this because it’ll impede on other people’s happiness? That I’d rather leave than listen to the temporary, soon forgotten “Be happier’s!” that will be spit out because no one really knows how to care, we’re no taught how to care about our friends. To know how to console. We pawn it off to “professionals” but do they really know any better? They’re still humans in this cycle. I’d rather leave. Start over. And maybe break this. Bye.
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